What's Writer's Voice, you ask?
Well, go here to find out more...and this is just one blog of four!
So, below is my entry...
Query:
Dear Agent:
In Oriane, witches
are born with a pair of witch stones embedded in their palms, but Rossi, the
daughter of the Nowan County Witch, is born with only one. And harvesting
lightning with one stone is harder than convincing her troll to take a bath. If
only her element had been a gentle babbling brook. But no. One tiny mistake and
she could end up fried chicken, just like the only time she’d ever tried to
catch it. Something she vowed never to never attempt again.
In spite of
Rossi’s best effort to avoid it, a lightning bolt seeks her out. As does a
stranger, a warlock boy who claims to know secrets about her single stone and
claims he’s here to protect her. But, from what? Other newcomers pop up, a tiny
unicorn with a broken horn, a fire witch who is as sweet as a ripe strawberry
and a water witch with secrets of her own – Rossi struggles to determine who is
friend or foe.
Rossi must learn
to control her lightning and fast. Something sinister is lurking in the shadows
of her mountains. Something that wants to steal her stone for the dark craft.
WITCH STONE is a
middle grade fantasy complete at 59,000 words and should appeal to fans of Plain Kate and The Wizard of Dark Street.
I am an SCBWI
member and belong to a local critique group in Northwest Arkansas.
Thank you for
your time!
All best,
Mandy
Silberstein
First 250:
Chapter
1
Lightning
struck the dirt close to where Rossi sat, her fingers jammed in her ears. She
jumped with every crackle of energy, but didn't dare open her eyes.
Rossi hated
harvesting lightning. It was loud, hot, and smelled like roasted cat. Plus, her
short brown hair always stood on end for several days afterward, frizzed beyond
any hope from the mix of electricity and drenching rain that would follow.
“Mom,
that was too close. Stop flinging it at me.” Rossi glanced at her mother
perched above her on the edge of Nowan cliff, arms outstretched like she was
welcoming an old friend. Her white gown whipped around her legs in the storm
winds. She always dressed in her finest for the lightning ritual, while Rossi
had just thrown a jacket over her mud spattered pants and her favorite worn shirt
that was missing two buttons, along with dusty boots.
“You
could use a charge or two. You've been rather pale lately.” Mom lowered her arms
and another bolt streaked through the night sky, straight for the pair of emeralds
embedded in her palms. “Come here and try. You give up too easy.”
“No!”
Rossi opened her hands. The brilliant diamond she’d been born with sunk into
her left palm and marked her element as lightning. Her right hand was empty of
the corresponding stone that would have made her a complete witch.
Lightning had nearly killed her the only time
she had tried to call it.
Yay Mandy! You are going to do great!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so adorable, and so much fun! It made me laugh out loud several times, so well done! And good luck with it :)
ReplyDeleteI'm perusing the entries for YA, and your MG is the first to make me slow down long enough to comment. I dig it. G'luck!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing like the smell of a good roasted cat!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a really fun book to read. Great voice!
Best of luck to you! Hope to read it someday!
~Jill Haugh
Your story sounds so cute and fun! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOh, nice humor both in the query and the first 250. So important in MG! Plus I ADORE Plain Kate, so that is an added bonus. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat first 250! You give action and information without dragging down the story. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteCute story.
ReplyDeleteFried chicken, roasted cat, what's next? :)
Good luck with your entry!
Hey, fellow Arkansan! I love the idea of stones in their palms. And lightning catching! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGreat premise! Love the visuals of poor Rossi catching lightning!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love the voice in the query and the first 250--so crucial for middle grade. This looks like it's going to be a cute, fun read. Well done, and good luck!
ReplyDeleteLove the voice, and your poor mc's predicament! Great to see another middlegrade, too! Good luck in the contest, and happy writing!
ReplyDelete--Suzanne
www.suzannewarr.com
Harder than convincing her troll to take a bath - sounds fantastic! My fingers are crossed for this one!
ReplyDeleteLove that line about convincing her Troll to take a bath. I have a 12 yo Troll at home, who I have to beg, and bribe to bathe. LOL!--roasted cat--what an aromatic description. And a fun visual right after that. This sounds like a lot of FUN! Best of Luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is ADORABLE! I'm already in love with Rossi. It sounds like such a fun (but also scarey - because who is friend or foe?!?!) read. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteConvincing her troll to take a bath and roasted cat. Yes yes yes, it sounds great! Good luck to you. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome!!! I love the concept and am a bit of a sucker for anything having to do with the elements ;)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, from your 250 alone I want to spend a book with your MC. She just sounds awesome and perfectly flawed. You're going to do well!!!
Love the humor you've worked in to a wonderful premise. Well done!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a humorous and entertaining read. I loved the first 250 and I assume it can only get better from there! Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteMandy!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is SO CUTE. I want you on my team! I loved your entry so much that I just had to call my 11yo to read it (he reads like 3 MG books a week) and he loved it too. =D
You had me at, "...harder than convincing her troll to take a bath." I love all those adorable little details and I must say that I'm intrigued with the premise, and the writing was nice too. And it was also funny. Congrats!!
So, if you join #TeamMonicaFTW, I would love to read a few more pages and I would love it if you could send me a synopsis, too. Because I think the query needs a little bit of work. Just a bit, though.
Anyway. PLEASE, Mandy, PICK ME!! I would really like to have you on my team. Really!
<3
MG unite!!! So glad a fellow MG got picked. Great job, great premise, great query, great 250...that's a lot of greats, sheesh! But I mean every one of em!
ReplyDeleteCongrats again! WELL DESERVED! Good luck!
Great writing--it really sings and puts us there with the MC. Love the dramatic setting and descriptions as well as the funny voice. I am impressed! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm always happy to see MG fantasy! Congratulations on getting picked and good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is really cute and I love the idea that witches have stones in their hands that help them harness their elements. I haven't read any MG but this is something I would read. The funny little details in the query gave me a great sense of voice and the first 250 totally delivered.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you're on #TeamMonica.
Look at all the LOVE! Best of luck!!!
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