Holy Guacamole....It's been 7 years!!

7 years!!! 7 years since I last wrote on my blog, peoples!! That's a long time and the only thing that hasn't changed is my over-fondness for exclamation points!!

I have decided that this blog is for me.

Life changed big time for me about 5 years ago. My husband, who has probably been mentally ill all of his life, crashed. And we went through some things! We're still going through things. I stopped writing for a couple of years and now I'm wanting to try and find that creative part of Mandyland again. But I think to do that I need to have a place where I can write honestly about all the struggles. Even if no one comes along for the ride, I've got to find a way to process it.

In quick style, here's an update:

Dec 2014 - Hubby has 4 heart attacks. A couple of months later, Hubby tells me and his doctor that he is suicidal. It all began.

Doctors, therapy, meds. It was a lot but I thought we had a handle on it.

January 2016 - My mom attempts suicide. Does a darn good job, was in a coma for weeks, in the hospital for months. She is doing great now!! So proud and happy for her!

Hubby, though, started going down hill fast. In his younger years, he was an alcoholic and user. In my opinion that was how he coped with undiagnosed mental illness. But he'd been clean and sober for so long. Until he wasn't. We've had stays in mental health facilities, rehab, even a little jail time. It overwhelms me to think about where we've been.

Hubby and I lived apart for two years - but I was still his main avenue of support and we never divorced. Now, he's back living with me and we are trying to find a new normal.

Long story short drugs, alcohol, bipolar, and schizophrenia have left the Hubby in poor health and unable to work. He tries so hard to help me where he can.

I was prompted to start chronicling this journey because, surely, we've gone through all this for a reason. And I have a very unique position. I'm the wife that refused to give up and stayed. Even when it wasn't always in my best interest.

I haven't found much out there for the one that stayed. There's plenty of recovery stuff for the ladies that walked away and props to them. But I didn't have children to protect, I only had Hubby and our critters. I wasn't willing to walk away and let him destroy himself in a torrent of pain and a haze of substances. Lots of people think I'm stupid for that. I am not an abused woman who is scared to leave. I know what I have to do to be safe and I can do it. I have done it. But I'm in a position to help him and not let all our years be for nothing.

Some days, my unrelenting determination is the only thing holding us together. I REFUSE to quit.

We have had months of stability with only the occasional hiccup. But I've been noticing that over the last few weeks, Hubby is slipping back into some of those old habits that he struggles with mentally. He is in counseling, but just started. That was the hardest part. He wanted no part of counseling until recently. We got him there though. His psychiatrist and other doctors are amazing and I couldn't do this without them. His niece and nephew are a God send. They are like me. They won't give up on him.

But I'm noticing that as he's sliding backwards, my anxiety is ramping up. I feel very on edge. I had gotten used to waiting for the other shoe to drop. Since November, it hasn't. I thought we were making progress and finding a little peace. I was wrong and the shock of it all slapped me in the face.

I find myself doing the things that I did months ago when I was watching his every move like a hawk. He is still going to AA, another thing for which I am eternally grateful. I think I thought that we were good. We were beating it. I'd heard there would be good days and hard days and there are, believe me there are. Now we've had a rough month and I'm starting to panic that it's all happening again.

Hubby is going for the weekend to stay with his Niece and Nephew. They are going fishing and he sounds so excited for it. Again, I couldn't do this without them. I hope it helps lift his spirits and he gets the will to fight amped back up.

If you're here with me, hold on, it's a bumpy ride.

XOXO
Mandy

The Fantabulous Lisa Amowitz

You Guys, I have such a treat!! The wonderfully, talented and super awesome Lisa Amowitz has dropped by Mandyland on her BREAKING GLASS blog tour....so exicted!!!! And there will be a giveaway. Yay!!!!

BREAKING GLASS from Spencer Hill Press, July 2013

by Lisa Amowitz

On the night seventeen-year-old Jeremy Glass winds up in the hospital with a broken leg and a blood alcohol level well above the legal limit, his secret crush, Susannah, disappears. When he begins receiving messages from her from beyond the grave, he’s not sure whether they’re real or if he’s losing his grip on reality. Clue by clue, he gets closer to unraveling the mystery, and soon realizes he must discover the truth or become the next victim himself.

ISBN: 978-1937053383

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So without anymore fangirling from me...Let's meet Lisa!

 

Lisa Amowitz was born in Queens and raised in the wilds of Long Island, New York where she climbed trees, thought small creatures lived under rocks and studied ant hills. And drew. A lot.

    When she hit her teens, she realized that Long Island was too small for her and she needed to escape. So she went to college in Pittsburgh. Go figure.

On leaving college, Lisa became a graphic designer living in New York City. She eventually married her husband of a zillion years, had two lovely children, and was swept away to a fairy tale life in the Bronx, where, unbelievably there are more trees and wilderness than her hometown. She can see the Hudson River from her kitchen window.

Lisa has been a professor of Graphic Design at her beloved Bronx Community College where she has been tormenting and cajoling students for nearly seventeen years. She started writing eight years ago because she wanted something to illustrate, but somehow, instead ended up writing YA. Probably because her mind is too dark and twisted for small children.

BREAKING GLASS which will be released in July, 2013 from Spencer Hill Press, is her first published work. VISION, the first of the Finder series will be released in 2014, along with an unnamed sequel in the following year. LIFE AND BETH will also be released in the near future, along with graphic novel style art.

Find Lisa on Facebook

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Hi, Lisa! I’m so excited to have you visit Mandyland and to be a stop on your BREAKING GLASS blog tour. First, let me say how stinkin’ excited I am to get my hands on this book!!! I love me a creepy story and Jeremy seems to fit perfectly!

So just a few questions for you…

First, tell us a little about your writing process. Do you outline? Are you a pantser? Music? No? Tell us all the deets!

I’m kind of both. I start with a spark—a story idea that sits around for years before I dust it off and begin to write. Sometimes, the main character starts whispering in my ear, telling me it’s time. That’s kind of what happened with Jeremy Glass. With Breaking Glass, I knew the beginning and the end—kind of. To be honest, I really didn’t know—I just had a bare bones idea of where I wanted the story to go. With Breaking Glass, I knew I wanted every character, even secondary ones to have a secret—so I figured those out first.

A lot of the plotting took place in a car ride with my good friend, author Dhonielle Clayton where together we fleshed out the bones of the plot (and missed our exit and got completely lost—which happens every time we’ve gone on one of our expeditions). Then I opened the program Scrivner, which I like to use for getting started, and made up character backstory cards for each main character—their appearances, secrets and habits. I have a rough outline on there, as well as the first and second drafts.

 From that point forward I usually focus on the first chapter. I may write it over ten times before I let anyone read it, but when I think I finally have the voice in good shape I drop it in the shark tank known as my crit group (which we fondly call The Cudas) for chomping. If they like it, I keep going.

I do follow my outline loosely, but often tend to veer off in unexpected detours, which forces me then to RE-OUTLINE a few chapters ahead. So you might call me a punster-outliner.

As far as music, I don’t listen while I write, but certain songs get stuck in my head and become themes for certain books. With Breaking Glass, that song was Lost Forever And, from somewhat obscure Irish band I’ve seen perform twice and have loved for ages, The Guggenheim Grotto. In fact, I loved the song so much I managed to get permission from the band to use it for my trailer!

You designed your own cover!! And several others. How do you approach cover design? What grabs you about a story and makes you think, “Yes…this needs to be incorporated in the design?”

First, let me say that designing my own cover was the hardest. I must have done thirty or some versions before I landed on the one I used. And even then I was unsure and needed about eight people, including my teenaged daughter and her opinionated best friends, to choose the final design.

It’s a lot easier for me to do someone else’s cover. First I ask to see cover styles the author likes. I try to find the book’s pulse—what is its atmosphere, setting, mood and vibe—through dialogue with the author. My publisher, Spencer Hill Press, is unusual in that it lets the author have some control over their cover.

I then dig a little deeper to find a significant character or object that personifies the book best. The next step is to go on an image search through the online stock photography houses. I’m working with a small budget so I don’t have the luxury of hiring a model and photographer. I work with what’s out there and usually find some unexpected treasures. I then mock up about two or three “comps” to see if I’m headed in the right direction. Once a design is approved, I really begin in. I’m quite well versed in the program Photoshop (I also teach graphic design and have been a practicing designer for much longer than I’ve been a writer) so I sink in my teeth and create some digital magic. It’s really more fun than almost anything and I take my task seriously. I am, I know, putting a face on a book for the author, as well as their audience. For them, it’s like seeing their baby’s face for the first time and I am very respectful of that. When an author bonds with a cover and takes ownership of it, my work is done!

Give us a little insight into Jeremy. What makes him tick?

Jeremy is a very smart guy with a lot of nervous energy. He is also a guy who works very hard to present a persona of funny, reliable, smart and decent person. But behind his carefully constructed mask lies a tormented and desperate young man drowning in his own traumatic past.

What is the heart and soul of this story? What feeling do you most want readers to come away with?

BREAKING GLASS is about secrets and how they can quietly destroy people. Everyone in the town of Riverton has one, and that is what is slowly chipping away at all of them. It takes one terrible event to jar Jeremy out of his pattern of denial that rocks him to his core, ultimately forcing him to confront the deceptions that have crippled him, and most of the people he knows

Now for something silly…You are about to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, what two books do you grab before the ship goes down? I ask for two, cause who could pick just one?!

I’m not a big re-reader, but the books I would pick would be The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak and The Raven Boys, by Maggie Stiefvater. Both books personify everything I can ever hope to attain as a writer.

Remind us again when we can rush to the store and buy BREAKING GLASS?

The book will be available for purchase on July 9, 2013. It is currently available for preorder on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Last One…Tell us something that scares you?

Running out of creative inspiration and the drive to do it. 

Thank you so much for dropping by Lisa! It’s been fun to have you here…Yay!!!!

Thanks for having me, Mandy. You asked some really great questions and I enjoyed answering them very much. As always, you made me feel right at home with your Southern hospitality!

Now for the free stuffs!!!! Couldn't be simpler, just fill out the rafflecopter below.

Giveaway items:

(1)   custom pendant like the one pictured on the book cover

(2) signed ARCS

(1) original work of Breaking Glass related art created and signed by the author.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


And that's not all....(I sometimes sound like a cheesy used car salesman, but hey, it works for me!)

 Lisa's also going to be making a free download of SHARDS, which is an illustrated preview of BREAKING GLASS.

Get it here...

Page URL: http://www.site.spencerhillpress.com/Shards.php  

Direct upload: http://www.site.spencerhillpress.com/uploads/Shards_Amowitz.pdf

And that's it folks...follow Lisa on Twitter and Facebook to see the other stops on the BREAKING GLASS Blog Tour and find out lots of juicy tidbits about Lisa and BREAKING GLASS!

What I've Learned

The Writer's Voice was this crazy roller coaster ride that was fun, anxiety-inducing, and eye opening all in one big package!!

I learned a couple things about myself....

- I don't like to wait

- I will do anything to distract myself while I'm waiting, even the dishes!

- Loads of people are as nervous about the process and about being on social media just as much as I am

- Putting yourself out there is a good thing

- And numerous other little things.

I have so much love for my coach Monica! She was so patient and kind, yet insightful and tough. In other words everything a coach should be :)

Oh and check back in the next couple of weeks. I have an interview with the lovely Lisa Amowitz, author of upcoming release BREAKING GLASS coming up. Whooo I am so excited for that!

Yay!!!!

Writer's Voice

Eek! Y'all...I'm an official entrant in the Writer's Voice contest!

What's Writer's Voice, you ask?

Well, go here to find out more...and this is just one blog of four!

So, below is my entry...

Query:

Dear Agent:

In Oriane, witches are born with a pair of witch stones embedded in their palms, but Rossi, the daughter of the Nowan County Witch, is born with only one. And harvesting lightning with one stone is harder than convincing her troll to take a bath. If only her element had been a gentle babbling brook. But no. One tiny mistake and she could end up fried chicken, just like the only time she’d ever tried to catch it. Something she vowed never to never attempt again.

In spite of Rossi’s best effort to avoid it, a lightning bolt seeks her out. As does a stranger, a warlock boy who claims to know secrets about her single stone and claims he’s here to protect her. But, from what? Other newcomers pop up, a tiny unicorn with a broken horn, a fire witch who is as sweet as a ripe strawberry and a water witch with secrets of her own – Rossi struggles to determine who is friend or foe.

Rossi must learn to control her lightning and fast. Something sinister is lurking in the shadows of her mountains. Something that wants to steal her stone for the dark craft.

WITCH STONE is a middle grade fantasy complete at 59,000 words and should appeal to fans of Plain Kate and The Wizard of Dark Street.

I am an SCBWI member and belong to a local critique group in Northwest Arkansas.

Thank you for your time!

All best,

Mandy Silberstein

First 250:

Chapter 1

            Lightning struck the dirt close to where Rossi sat, her fingers jammed in her ears. She jumped with every crackle of energy, but didn't dare open her eyes.

Rossi hated harvesting lightning. It was loud, hot, and smelled like roasted cat. Plus, her short brown hair always stood on end for several days afterward, frizzed beyond any hope from the mix of electricity and drenching rain that would follow.

            “Mom, that was too close. Stop flinging it at me.” Rossi glanced at her mother perched above her on the edge of Nowan cliff, arms outstretched like she was welcoming an old friend. Her white gown whipped around her legs in the storm winds. She always dressed in her finest for the lightning ritual, while Rossi had just thrown a jacket over her mud spattered pants and her favorite worn shirt that was missing two buttons, along with dusty boots.

            “You could use a charge or two. You've been rather pale lately.” Mom lowered her arms and another bolt streaked through the night sky, straight for the pair of emeralds embedded in her palms. “Come here and try. You give up too easy.”

            “No!” Rossi opened her hands. The brilliant diamond she’d been born with sunk into her left palm and marked her element as lightning. Her right hand was empty of the corresponding stone that would have made her a complete witch.

Lightning had nearly killed her the only time she had tried to call it. 

Howl's Sunday

So I'm fixing to start drafting a novel that I started a couple of years ago. It fell to the way side when I had to dive back into a rewrite for Rossi. Then another rewrite. Hopefully, I'm only looking at a revision now :) or I fear I shall set fire to my laptop in protest.

Anywhooo! Charlie! I've got about 5K already and it makes me smile and giggle. It's a light middle grade fantasy and focus is on the light. I've got some really crazy ideas for it that make my hard little heart swell with joy.

To say I'm in the love phase is a bit of an understatement!

But I really wasn't sure where to go next after those initial 5k. I had no real idea what the crux of the story was other than it was going to be silly. The silliest mg fantasy ever!!

I would have started a beatsheet, but I didn't even really now who my characters were going to be. So, I started with a character list instead and as I was naming and listing the folks that would star in this, a story began to take shape. I will still do a beat sheet for it here in the near future. For now, though, I have a sloppy, sloppy outline of bullet points and random thoughts. And I adore it!

Today though is Sunday and I don't wanna do anything but read. So I'm curling up with one of my very, favoritest books ever. Howl!

A little Howl's Moving Castle will help fuel the silliness, right?? Right! Happy Lazy Sunday, Y'all!!

Third Times a Charm

Welcome back. We have a new address, a new layout, but everything else is same old - same old. There will be too many cats and lots of bookish craziness.

Update since I left the blogosphere the last time: WITCH STONE, my mg fantasy, has completed another round of editing and I'm querying agents...EEEEEE!!!

While I'm  waiting, I'm working on a new project that I affectionately call Charlie. MG and fantasy, with lots of whimsy :) It's been so fun and makes me giggle. In the first draft phrase, that's important.

Ok that's it for now. More will be coming soon! I promise!!!

Until then, random cat picture.... Frank and George. The cuteness is overwhelming!!